My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
