you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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