my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
