I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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