I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
