Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
