He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
