just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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