Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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