check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
