Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
