tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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