i permit you to call me
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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