i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
