Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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