It's Friday. Sex?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
