I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Are my feet made of real feet?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
