I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
