Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
