Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I still have a little drunk in my system
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
