It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
