I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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