Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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