Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
