i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
