just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
