I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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