No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
