allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
