I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
