Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
