If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
