I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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