i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
