Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
