U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
