I seem to have left my pride at pride
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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