i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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