One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize