i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
