I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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