The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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