Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize