Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
