and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
