You can't motorboat a personality
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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