So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
