he wants to bone in the snuggie
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
