p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
