i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
