and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
