He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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