i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
