is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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