The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
