I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
