Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
