i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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