So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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