If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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